1 Tori Baker's Essay
What is the claim?
What is the claim?
a.
The main point is that the use of dangerous
ingredients in cosmetic products needs to be regulated to stop the spread of
diseases they cause.
b.
The thesis is clearly stated at the end of the
first paragraph, “These lethal ingredients in cosmetics need to be regulated,
otherwise cancer among other diseases will continue to spread.”
2.
What
support does the writer offer for the claim?
a.
She discusses how the products we use everyday
can and do negatively impact our health without us realizing. For example,
exposure to some of the chemicals can contribute to the development of breast
cancer or talcum powder causing ovarian cancer.
b.
Yes, she uses facts, statistics, examples, and
expert testimonials.
c.
Yes, the reasons are plausible and they bring up
an important issue because so many use these products and might not know the
possible health consequences. The support for her claims is sufficient, as she
uses a lot of facts to back them up.
3.
How
evenhandedly does the writer present the issues?
a.
Yes, she mentions the fact that cosmetic
companies claim that the dangerous ingredients no longer in their products and
that “natural” products would be more expensive, and therefore they would not
be purchased. But, she refutes them with facts, citing studies that have found
toxic ingredients in cosmetics and that Target has distributing Pacifica (a
chemical free brand) and that it is affordable.
b.
She acknowledges the counterarguments, but
explains (reasonably) to her readers why they are invalid, and she provides facts
for support.
c.
She dismisses the other arguments, but it is not
off-putting because she does it with logic and facts.
d.
Her arguments are not generalizations. They are
specific and backed up with appropriate
sources.
4.
What
authorities or sources of outside information does the writer use?
a.
The sources are used to support her claims by
providing facts and statistics.
b.
The sources are credible. She uses reputable
sites like The New York Times, Colby College, Environmental Working Group.
c.
Yes, her sources are very current (all from at
least 2010)
5.
How does
the writer address you as a reader?
a.
No, she does not assume the audience knows about
the cosmetics. She provides sufficient background information at the beginning,
but it is not done in a condescending way, it sets up the topic nicely.
b.
Her language includes me, she uses phrases like
“us”, “our”, and “you” in her paper. Also, her topic itself of cosmetics
includes her audience because it is so relatable- we all use cosmetic products!
And many people are not aware of their potential dangers.
c.
Yes, we share an interest and regard for our health
and the ingredients in the products we use.
Thanks for the edits, Carmen! :)
ReplyDelete-Tori B